Book : Self Control Is For Losers

How many beers do you think it's safe to drink in an hour? Four? Twelve? Forty twelve? What about cigars, cream cakes and breakfast burritos? Surely there's a limit right? Everything in moderation? Not if you're smart about it there isn't. My name is Hermando Ravioli, and my breakfast consists of deep-fried lard balls accompanied by a Champagne and human blood smoothie. But how can I eat this and still weigh only six stone? By tricking my body like a sucker that's how. Each morning I use visualisation techniques to convince my brain I've just completed a marathon, thereby increasing my metabolism and allowing me to fill my face with ever more crap. With <span class="italic">Self Control is For Losers</span> you too will learn my gluttonous secrets, and before long you'll be on your way to a well-earned heart attack.