Book : The Hamburglar's Guide To Crime

For three decades The Hamburglar's cheeky beef-stealing exploits were a mainstay of the McDonald's marketing campaign - until a brush with the law in 2003 put an end to both his career and his freedom. Embittered by a custody feud with his ex-wife, Birdie the Early Bird, The Hamburglar (real name Dennis Blork) was sent down for a 12 year stretch by Mayor McCheese after Officer Big Mac stumbled upon him desecrating the salad supplies at a nearby Burger King. But far from being the punishment intended, prison instead hardened The Hamburglar's criminal ways, giving him a range of crafty cons and terrible torture techniques courtesy of his fellow inmates. Now in this tell-all autobiography, The Hamburglar passes on his unique blend of criminal insight and erotic onion-based anecdotes in this <span class="italic">The Hamburglar's Guide To Crime</span>. <br/><br/> <span class="bold">"If I see you looking at me like that again I'll fucking cut you"</span><br/> <span class="t-gray-9">- R. McDonald Esq</span>