Diesel

Thicker, darker, and a little bit sulky, diesel is the accelerant equivalent of a big tiddy goth girlfriend. Slow to start, too proud to spread for attention, but once it gets going it's an absolute smoke show. The fumes from a diesel fire will announce your actions to everyone within a half-mile radius, so if you're looking for an audience, this is the juice for the job. A touch safer to spark than its liquid cousins, but the trade-off is a plume that leaves no doubt who lit it.