

Once, in the first age of men, geese were man's best friend. Alas, our winged brothers turned against us upon our discovery of fire, claiming it was within God's power alone to master the mighty flame. With their beaks put out of joint, humans were forced to make do with their second choice of accomplice, the humble canine. Today, pups and pooches are pampered beyond belief, with all manner of supplements, and treatments available to keep our bitches happy. This bag of dog treats can be used to beckon, tempt, or distract any dog on the planet. And should you fail, you will know that dogs too have turned their hairy backs on us, with the indomitable hedgehog next in line for our favors.